It's Daddy Time!!! (don't take that the wrong way... I'm taken)

I love to write. Like really: I have a passion (if there was a “clueless” font, it would have been written in ITALICS right there... or maybe bold... and luckily, you don't have to BE a good writer to LOVE it).  But upon prompt and aggressive soul searching: I have to believe that this passion comes from my overwhelming love of this new gadget/keyboard attachment for my current favorite mobile device/toy.  And while I’m at it, I guess I could try to chronicle this whole “being a dad” thing that i’m going through.  Also, someone should try “aggressive soul searching” sometime.  Also, take video.

technically I’m a dad... I’ve been a pretty amazing one for a little over 2 trimesters, if I do say so myself.  My wife would agree with me, but she’s a little “preoccupied” with the whole “carrying a child in her tummy” and trying to force feed me alcohol so she can live vicariously through me.

you see this guy? he looks totally ready to be a dad. (post force feeding picture)

But practically, I’m just a dude... literally watching a production WAY more entertaining than a soap opera, MUCH more frightening than a horror movie and at times, so, SO much more swearing than gangsta’ rap with tourrets.

I have had front row seating to really, awesomely weird people, (I’m talking about the “tinfoil hat”, or the “you probably ride unicycles” kind of weird) that apparently hide in closets until someone becomes pregnant. There have been aliens.  There have been aliens that try to punch you in the face when you when you are politely/lovingly saying ‘hi little alien’ to them. I’ve been to that one class that made me really wonder if having sex was a good idea. I have read the horrifying books.  I have PLAYED the “pregnant card”, FOR my wife so much, I almost feel like I should be pregnant. HA! I’m actually lying. I don't EVER want to be pregnant. It looks too hard, and i’m lazy, and i have too many holes I love enough to keep intact.

And now, low and behold: I have a keyboard. Which means this little sitcom i’m living in right now (and I’m apparently also the laugh track) NEEDS to be crystallized, before it is all forgotten, due to sleep deprivation and a slow war of attrition between grown, college educated adults and a screaming infant.  I’ve seen what insomnia can do to a person’s brain... it makes you boss your husband around, and make him go to the store at 3:00 am and buy some damn PICKLES that AREN'T EVEN THERE. Side note people: Insomnia is tragic and can happen to anyone, but especially if you are a cute blondie named Kim. But i hear it also makes you forgetful... and THAT’S where I draw the line.

anyways... no need to spill all the beans here... there will be PLENTY of time for bean spilling. It's just that this whole pregnancy/parent/kid experience is WAY too entertaining to just let it fly by.