Let me start off this completely unbiased blog with a completely legitimate graph that I saw some very smart people (with lab-coats and clipboards) working on.
My roommate and I had a discussion the other night. Correction: it was more of "a statement of facts", because a "discussion" connotates that there is a back/forth dialogue. I simply stated the fact that "my nephew was the cutest being on the face of the earth, and most likely in the known galaxy as well". Although, now that I think about it, I probably didn't say "cute". words that were possibly used include "awesomest" "Bodatious-est" "EarthShatteringlyGoodLooking" or a variety of other made up words that would have to try to make up for the english language's insufficient adjectives for my nephew... CALLAHAN... callahan... callahan. (yes: orchestra cymbals smash and his name echoes every time you say it)
I, being known for my un-exaggerated, down to earth, and completely logical, statements, could not have POSSIBLY expected what came next. And here comes the part that makes me think that my roommate is actually on Crack, or perhaps some derivation of LSD. The words that came out of his mouth was "Will, MY nephew is cuter than yours".
There are certain offenses that are a part of life which I just have to accept: vegan breakfast burritos, Bakersfield California, Evil Zombie Ninjas, Paul Walker Movies, or an accidental fart in a quiet crowd during your friends graduation speech (sorry Tom). But how is a man of integrity and ethics supposed to live with a statement which implies that there is something
CUTER Awesomer than my nephew? Highly speculative and terribly advanced research shows that Hitler probably wouldave implied something along similar lines... I rest my case.
This is my Nephew Cal.
It's not that I'm biased... but after being able to hold Cal, i typically just look at other babies and see this:
Unless whoever is reading this has a child. then, their baby of COURSE look like THIS.
the point is: Cal has officially raised the bar for all the babies out there. Actually, not just for the babies, but for EVERY cute thing out there. example: he would make a baby seal look like it was beat with an ugly club, and then turned into a rich ladies coat. THAT is how cute we are talking here... true story