Maybe it IS time for a Mid-Life Crisis

There are a couple of events that cause you to immediately stop whatever you are doing, and re-examine your lifestyle.  I've had a couple of those recently. Allow me to expound (hmmm, funny how it SEEMS like i'm asking for permission, but really, you dont really have the ability to NOT allow me to expound.  Oh, the awesomeness of passive-aggressiveness)

1. If you find yourself overly passive aggressive (or too self-contradicting)
2. If you are the person pictured above, which is one of the first things that came up when I google image searched "Crazy Person"
3. If you score a 300 in bowling.  from the amount of time required do do this feat, odds are you have a beer belly (or two, which IS possible if you scored a 300) and have been divorced twice, because you spend too much time at the local bowling alley instead of spending time doing things that actually matter. (note: video games are excluded from this category, because they are awesome... and because i actually dont care to deal with that reality at this time)
4. If you find yourself being strangely attracted to LARP'ing (Live Action Role Playing.  It's the pinnacle of nerd... and not the good kind of nerd either... but the kind that scares you, and makes you lock your doors at night (sometimes in the day), and convinces you why you shouldnt drink alcohol while you are pregnant)
5. If you are standing in your local blockbuster, deciding which Paul Walker movie to rent.
6. If you have more fingers than teeth (or if either of those numbers is below 8).
7. if you play a perfect game of darts.  in all honesty, giving a drunk person sharp throwing objects should be low on the "to do" list.  It is quite possible that if you have gotten THIS good at darts... you have already killed at least one person... but likely, the number is hovering around 3.
8. If your World of Warcraft level is greater than your age
9. if i say "Star Wars Holiday special" your skin crawls because you knew (and have seen) what I'm talking about... (no wonder why the empire struck back)
10. If, as you are getting into your yellow car in the morning, your pants explode.

So, this morning my pants exploded.  One minute I was walking to my car, and the next minute, I was sitting in the drivers seat basically wearing two disconnected pant legs.  Thoughts that come to mind are things like "I'm not one to be self conscious, but is this a good time to start?", or "I wonder if the incredible hulk ever had to deal with stuff like this?".  I would normally feel cool that I could finally relate to the Incredible hulk on issues other than our similar desire to destroy things when we get mad, but our similarities are a bit more depressing; what he has in muscle I have in FAT.

I feel that it's just an odd emotion when you are trying to decide if you are responsible for brutally murdering your pants, or if they had committed suicide right before your eyes (or before your legs). 


Maybe i should stop buying $7.99 pants. OOOORRRR: maybe they should toughen up if they dont want to end up a sploded mess, or in the incinerator as i laugh over their burning embers as sweet recompense because they just cost me 8 bucks. 


Conclusion: we will be having a pant bonfire this weekend at my place... all are welcome.  indecent exposure tickets will be given as necessary. 

Other Conclusion: Ignorance is bliss! Rock on! Iron Maiden Rules!