yet another watch story

So: the other day, my watch killed itself. And by "killed itself", i mean "i murdered it".
I cant even blame it on "an accident" either. it's got scars. it looks like it went through that show "will it blend?" you know: the show where they threw a sherman tank into a blender, and turned it into a liquid?

I was playing foosball, and was taking off my watch... it slipped out of my hand: and the second hand fell off (that was a first for me... you can see how the second hand got lodged in between a bunch of other moving parts in the picture i hope i attached). So I find out that the watch company is pretty good about fixing things. This knowledge causes me to 1) box up the watch and send it back 2) send a small photo album of all the adventures i have taken this watch on and 3) send a letter: attached below

Dear Reactor Watches,

I’m not going to put this lightly… I am the kiss of death to watches. I mean: if there was an “angel of doom” for the watch community, I would be him. And in all honesty, being the “watch apocalypse” isn’t really descriptive enough either… not only do watches meet their gruesome demise with me, but they leave this world in SPECTACULAR fashion. From a watches point of view, being latched onto my wrist is pretty much a death sentence. There is probably even some horror stories that they tell around the campfire about that one watch that was fated to be worn by me.

And it’s not without merit that watches try to avoid me like the plague (perhaps not a good enough metaphor… seeing how the watch plague ended in 68). Watches avoid me like a person should avoid a skunk. Watches avoid me like a French guy avoids work. Like you would avoid a stapler after you accidentally stapled your tongue to the wall. Often I find that watches will just run away when I take them off, or commit suicide by falling from the kitchen counter that I put them on right into the garbage disposal.

Here are some of the terrible things that my ex-watches have had to go through.

4 watches ago, I was bouldering down a canyon of rocks as I was hiking along a river, and when I lost my footing and had to catch myself from sliding into the river, the Swiss army watch was impaled with a rock (all the way through the glass and even into the minute/hour hands). The poor little guy didn’t even stand a chance. I was expecting more out of a military watch… I was just assuming it’s basic training wouldave held up better to the pleasant California environment.

2 watches ago, my watch tried to commit Hari-Kari and tried to hang itself by getting its crown wrapped up in a piece of loose cloth on the laundry bag as I was washing dirty clothes. It DID manage to decapitate itself, but I managed to Dr. Frankenstein the depressed little watch together. Later, I found that it drowned itself in the shower that night. This wasn’t exactly the warrior’s way out… but the thing did have some intense (intensely depressing) determination.

3 watches ago, (and REALLY, I did not make this story up…) my watch died via high-five. Yeah… that really happened. So, I may have had a cup of coffee a little too late in the day… perhaps I was pretty amped that I had won my first game of “mafia” ever… maybe I should have put a little less shoulder in the high five to my friend. But the high-five is what it took to kill the watch. Once my hand collided with my buddies… that’s all she wrote. I just remember seeing bits of metal flying about as the band broke, and watched in slow motion as the little silver pieces of watch hit all my friends which I had just dominated in Mafia. I still cant decide whether to be excited that I actually have a story like that, or pissed that I lost a borderline expensive watch.

Then my Aunt got me a Reactor watch. I have always had the most problems with the pins that connect the band to the body of the watch, and saw that some GENIUS had the idea to BOLT the band to the watch. I came to the realization that those “band” problems were now a thing of the past. (I also realized that if the bolts DID, in fact, break that I would probably have other things to be worried about… like a severed arm, or dismemberment, and other things that really make a broken watch not seem too bad in comparison).

Unfortunately, nothing lives forever… not even watches with bolts on them. In the end: it wasn’t working in a machine shop that killed it. It wasn’t the time I realized that I was working next to a high powered magnet which was cooking the brains of my watch (and not letting the second hand turn at all). It wasn’t the impromptu climbing session in Yosemite (when I realized halfway up the granite wall that I still had my watch on). It wasn’t the time I went surfing, fell, hit the reef, and came up to the surface to find my board broken in half. It wasn’t the time I went spelunking (because OBVIOUSLY everyone needs to know what time it is when you are a mile under the earth). It is when it fell as I was taking it off (my foosball skills dramatically increase without a watch on), and the second hand fell off.

In all honesty: I love your guys’ watches. I’ve gotten compliments from beautiful women about the exquisite style. I’ve gotten the thumbs up from fellow men for the rugged feel of it followed by a brief, and slightly unintelligible grunt. It became much more rugged looking after our experience of laying down the motorcycle in gravel. And I’m sending it back to you as proof that all this happened (probably pretty evident from some of it’s battle scars).

So, Reactor: is there anything to be done? Your watch has by FAR lived through the most torture of any watch yet. Do you make a watch that will outlive me? (if so: I’ll take one…) I’ll even leave it back to you guys in my will. (This is me trying to get a free watch from the company)

Thanks,

William McDonald

Here is hoping for a new watch!!!