So I was digging through my old documents, and found one that Kim asked me to write when we were creating our "how we met" page on our wedding website. if you dont have time to read all those cumbersome words below: here is the cliff notes version.
1) Kim is really REALLY beautiful.
2) Will Shmilliam is a nerd.
3) Shmilliam Will is CRAZY in love with Kim.
4) Will is pretty awesome... you should probably give him $20.
so: here goes:
The story of Ultra-Nerd Will and Beautiful Lady Kim
So, there once was this nerd... for storytelling purposes, let’s call him “Shmilliam”... He was uber proud of his nerd abilities, and not really aware of his... well... let’s be honest: he really wasnt aware of anything around him.
One day, when Shmilliam was at work, off in his own little oblivious world, a ray of sunshine (This is nerd-code for a really cute blonde girl) walked by his cube at work. Let’s first understand something about this “Shmilliam” character: he was crazy about this girl, the SECOND he saw her... like: he was probably drooling a little, which is what nerds sometimes do when in the presence of smokin’ hot girls, but this was DIFFERENT.
Now, Shmilliam will tell you that he “played it cool” when she walked by his desk... but lets be real: when she was about to leave (and actually go do work), after talking to him for 30 min, he started telling really crappy jokes to get her to stay and talk to him for longer. Even though it was a success and his ray of sunshine stayed for another 15 min, (Shmilliam will tell you that this is due to his amazing “knock knock” jokes, and witty references to the Star Wars Trilogy) the sad fact is that Shmilliam is forever going to have to live with the fact that he asked about the WEATHER for small talk... yes, that happened.
30 seconds after she left, Shmilliam was in full blown stalker mode, which is a good thing and a bad thing. The good thing is that he found out that they both PROFOUNDLY LOVED to play air guitar (oh yes, this girl was THAT awesome), the bad thing is that 1) stalking is creepy, and that 2) he found out she had a boyfriend. Needless to say: he wore a frowny face for the rest of the day... the one with the squiggly line for a mouth.
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| Sigh... GAME OVER, Shmilliam... (he didnt even stand a CHANCE!) |
fast forward about 2 call of duty game releases later...
Shmilliam was living the nerd high life... he was having extravagant adventures to his hearts content, he had obtained a bright yellow truck of awesomeness, and had already become a 4th degree Foosball master (you should be impressed... at how poorly Shmilliam spent his free time).
Then, in the vast corridors of the nerdy place where Shmilliam worked... he caught yet ANOTHER glimpse of his ray of sunshine (still code for “hot blonde babe”). THIS time he DID play it cool... and didnt force her to talk to him for 45 minutes... that came later on that day when they found out how easy it was to talk to each other at work. But, oh, did he put out the vibe. I’m talking: “batting of the eyes”, flipping his hair... pantine pro-v style, even dropping hints at what an amazing air guitarist he was.
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| Oh yeah: THAT happened |
One motorcycle date later, Shmilliam realized that something was different about this girl: she wasnt like the rest. The fact that he played video games (which he currently proclaims to be quitting), drove an incredibly obnixious yellow truck, and was constantly breaking the strings of his air guitar, didnt push her away, it just gave them more reasons to be together.
This girl skipped into Shmilliam’s nerd world and shattered it around him. When he realized what happened, He looked around, and found that this boy named Will had fallen helplessly in love with a beautiful woman named Kim. And he was happy.
